First things first....the USC Song Girls "Boot Camp" from 2006...



First week of the college football season or not...Frankly, who gives a damn about the MEN of Troy?!?

Ok, now that I've got your attention (yo, dude...the picture ain't goin' anywhere, and if your girlfriend walks in while you've got it up (the pic UP on the screen, anything else that is "up" is your responsibility) you should at least know what the hell you're supposed to be reading) allow me to introduce myself. You can call me WVRevy, and the "WV" part of that does, indeed, stand for West-by-god-Virginnie. I' ain't no damn southern redneck like these other two. I am a genuine West Virginia Hillbilly, and not to put too fine-a-point on it, but I don't really give a damn what you think of that. My job here will be to try to beat some sense into these SEC homers and get them - and any readers we manage to scare up - to understand that good football doesn't stop at the Mason-Dixon line and the Mississippi.

That said, here are a few thoughts on Week 1 of what already looks to be a damn interesting 2007 season:

- What's to say about the Meechigan debacle that hasn't already been said? I vote we just all sit back and make fun of Lou Holtz for saying that this "wasn't an upset." Granted, Appy State is a good 1AA team. But the mighty Wolverines were supposed to contend for a "national title" (quotes will remain around that phrase until they finally settle the damn thing on the field). Holtz even said that Lloyd Carr shouldn't be on the hot seat. Um...someone needs to check Lou's blood-alcohol level. I'm starting to think that isn't a lisp he's got, but rather the results of a few bottles hidden under the desk.

- Speaking of Holtz and stupid comments, didn't he say Notre Dame was gonna win something like 10 games this year? After that ass-raping they suffered at the hands of Georgia Tech, do you think Mark May wanted - even just a little - to lean over and pimp slap the slobber off Holtz' lower lip, just as an "I told you so" kinda gesture? It looks like the Irish are headed closer to 10 losses than 10 wins. I don't give a damn if Clausen is the gay love child of Steve Young and Joe Montana. He ain't saving the Irish' season with that shitty offensive line in front of him.

- Mississippi State's starting QB gave what could possibly have been the worst performance in the history of the sport on Thursday. Until I saw the box score, I wouldn't have believed he actually completed 11 passes (to his own team). His leading receiver was actually the safety from LSU. The funny thing is, his piss-poor performance made that game look much worse than it should have. If that's the number two team in the country, I'll stand between Ralph Friedgen and a box of Krispy Kremes.

- The ACC continued to look like the shit conference it has become. NC State and UVA lost to non-BCS schools UCF and Wyoming, Maryland struggled to put away 1AA Villanova, and Virginia Tech got lucky in beating East Carolina. Only Miami (playing an even shittier school) and Georgia Tech looked halfway decent. Couldn't happen to a better bunch of assholes, as far as I'm concerned.

- The Big 12 is up for grabs a helluva lot more than most of the so-called and self-styled "experts" would have us believe. 'Course, they can't get off Colt McCoy's jock long enough to accurately look around the conference, so what do you expect? But Nebraska and Oklahoma both looked ridiculously good in beating up teams roughly equivalent to (if not actually better than) the sacrificial lamb that Texas barely beat. 'Course, one of the teams that was supposed to challenge UT got spanked in Athens, Georgia, so what the hell do I know?

- The Big East beat the holy hell out of a bunch of patsies, with the exception of SyrExcuse getting it handed to them by mediocre Washington. WVU and Louisville would, I'm sure, love to be playing better teams than they are, and both do in later weeks and years. But for right now, there isn't much to say about the top of the conference, as who the hell knows how good any of them are (though, it's probably safe to say that they are better than Michigan).

- Elsewhere in the Big 10...the funniest videos I saw of celebrations stemming from the Michigan loss were of fans from tOSU and State Penn. Um...you guys do realize it made your whole conference look like a joke, right? Well...that and the annual pasting you all take every bowl season when you're not matching up against teams from the MAC. Yeah...WE all thought it was hilarious that a "Big 10 Power" got thumped by their opening cupcake...but we are laughing AT you, not WITH you.

- In the PAC 10, Cal got it's revenge for the ass kicking in Knoxville last season, and USC looked like a team that's been reading its own press clippings. They keep playing like that, and I guarantee they lose at least two, possibly three games this year. Yeah, they've got a shitload of talent. So do the New York Yankees. If I had to pick right now, CAL would by my pick to win the conference. Still...at least they've got those Song Girls.

- In the SEC...ah, who gives a shit. You all get that from the other two meatheads writing on this blog, so I won't even get into it this week.